To Boldly Go Where I’ve Never Gone Before

Sorry, Captain Kirk Bill Shatner,, but I’m gonna use that line today. I often wonder why it is that I am a person who repeats patterns over and over and over and over again?

Why is it that I seek the fulfillment of my own emptiness with substances before such as extreme abuse of alcohol, drugs, or other things,, (eating,, sex,, seduction,, on and on the list goes).

I see myself evolving as I go deep into my self,, deep into the truths that many others refuse to ever look at in themselves,, yet I do. Reptiles have armor to protect them from the extreme conditions they encounter in life,, as a mammal,, I do to.

I attempt to fill the emptiness in my life by placing scales over the wounds I receive as I journey in life. I repeat the patterns that at some point in my life,, I feel helped me survive,, I feel these patterns will “carry me through” any situation that feels uncomfortable to me.

So the repetition of these behaviors go on and on until I find the root of the problem or I cover it up so deeply,, that I am never able to fill the emptiness in my life.

Today,, I want change,, but change can not be accomplished by a 180 degree turn of events,, it must be accomplished by a slight correction of  my path in my own personal journey. Just as I can not experience balance in my life by going from one extreme to the other complete opposite and hope to find the middle,, I can not go from one pattern into the same pattern with a different person, or drug, or group, or relocation of home, or whatever the soup de jour is today.

I am seeking my truth and I am finding it as I face my self in the mirror. Are you ready to face your truths?

Peace be with you and your journey in life on this great big ball of dirt I call earth.

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2 Responses to “To Boldly Go Where I’ve Never Gone Before”

  1. Rosanne West Says:

    Inspiring Blog!

  2. Rosanne West Says:

    Beam me up too, Scottie!

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