The Corporation That Stole Christmas,, Part 3

As the faithful day approaches,, Billy Bob knew he must utilize the brown water brigade to hatch his most diabolical plane ever,, that of stealing Christmas and then blaming it on all the rebels that remained.

Once the public sees that Pexxon is the hero who gave back Christmas to the workers,, well everyone would be grateful just to allow Pexxon to become tax-free.

All into the night the brigade worked feverishly,, devising a way to steal Christmas, blame those awful rebels and find a way for Pexxon to ride into the sunset and save the day.

The plan finally took shape and went something like this. Around August, it will become apparent that Santa is being terrorized by rebels who seek to destroy the American way of life. Santa will not be able to ride into town on his sleigh because the rebels have terrorized the North Pole and their constant attacks on elves has caused production to cease.

Pexxon will call in its favors at the news networks it controls and will simple declare, through “fair and unbalanced reporting” that Santa needs out help. The Christmas industry will lock down until it is safe for Americans to enjoy Christmas.

The brown water brigade formulated a plan to blow up 1 or 2 sleighs making trial runs for Christmas and then shut down all the airports and bring America to its knees. America fears terrorism say the boys at brown water and we’ll give it to them and blame those rebels.

Billy Bob will then make a special appearance at the White House and speak with fearless leader who will declare martial law. Billy Bob will lobby the senators, who Pexxon owns and the representatives they own to allow fearless leader to invoke all sorts of powers and the “unpatriotic act”.

Once the “unpatriotic act” is invoked,, America can go to war against the rebels and Pexxon will be given a green light to become tax-free. Spectacular thought the board and Billy Bob.

On the night of the plan, a brown water employee became nervous and leaked the plan to some of the rebels who were shocked. The plan proceeded as planned and fearless leader invoked the “unpatriotic act” and Pexxon became tax-free.

Pexxon was now free to fight the rebels and restore Christmas to those who deserved it. Pexxon immediately lobbied Congress for funds to guard the airports, the ports and buy expensive scanners, make everyone undress at airports and send troops to the North Pole. Pexxon got the contracts to supply food, clothing, shelter, water, and damn near everything else to service the frenzied armed forces massing at the North Pole.

Profits had never been higher and Pexxon knew it had the best thing a corporation could ever have, war, tax-free status and no competition to bid on the materials necessary for war.

Dick Head a former employee at Pexxon was the vice president and helped get Pexxon all these perks,, so now the war must continue. And for years it did,, spreading form the North Pole to the South Pole. Costing lives,, billions of dollars and senseless crap to give the government and Pexxon more and more and more control. Wiretaps on domestic conversations,, the hell with the constitution.

Years later the scholars,, all 2 of them,, wrote about this chapter in American history.

“Since the beginning of America,, there has never been a darker time in our history. Fueled by greed, the constitution, the most sacred document ever written, was shattered by the stroke of a pen and a few very, very, very wealthy and greedy people, who never stood trial for the crime of the century.

In the end, there never was terror, just a fear concocted by a few to gain absolute power over all. A giant clusterfuck brought to you by Pexxon and the media it controls along with the lobbying and a corporate greed.

If America had only separated the church and the state and not let the few get too powerful,, well, it wouldn’t have happened. All that was necessary was for good men to listen and let the bells of freedom ring. Instead, corporate greed stole Christmas and all the rights of the Americans during that period of time in our dark history.

It should be noted that just a few years before this crap, the enemies we now hate were our best friends,, I guess no one bothered to just listen and talk. Of course not,, there’s never any profit in that.

Peace to all and to all goodnight.

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