Grounding With The 4 Elements

I am writing this post this morning very late. I stayed up late last night and finally got some sleep and rest that I need. Unfortunately, I fell asleep on the couch and did not have a blanket and now,, well,, I’m catching a sore throat again.

I write this morning about grounding. Yesterday, I saw one of my many, many, many therapists and guess what,, my core issues always come back to my right to exist.

I can not tell each of you all my life experiences, but I can tell you that all my imbalance in life comes from my questioning my right to exist.

I read, read and then read,, (although that alone is not enough,, just like reading a book on human reproduction is not the same as practicing human reproduction),, it gives me an understanding of the problem.

I have always questioned my right to exist,, even pre-verbal. I suppose that is why I do the things I do.

I lived my life in a “marriage” / “prison” of my own choosing,, inflicting pain on myself for many. many years and then I realize,, it’s all about my right to exist.

Looking over my life in a snap shot, I remember several times when I felt abandoned,, (like the time I was maybe 1 1/2 – 2 years old and wanted to go to the train tracks at the edge of our farm. I went there to explore,, then I got lost.

I remember seeing the roof of the barn and then walking through the rows of corn to get back to the barn. I survived on my own, with my own gifts I was given.

I remember knowing at 5 years of age I wanted to be a lawyer / rancher, and I later became that. I remember wanting to be a martial artist and became that. I trained in some very extreme arts and in the end,, none of those things brought me joy, or brought a joy clouded by alcohol and drugs.

I remember always questioning my right to exist. In my “marriage / prison” in placed myself in,, I always questioned my right to exist. And so be it,, that’s my life story, in a nut shell.

I say these things because they are my truth and guess what,, I’m fucking super sensitive. The things others say to someone else,, won’t affect them, but it tears my soul up.

Then again,, the things that destroy others may not affect me at all, or not.

I suffer pain others can’t imagine,, (like that of a prisoner of war)  not imposed by others,, but by me,, and can survive things others can’t because of that gift I have been given.

So anyway,, telling the truth is important, but grounding is more important. The 4 elements, air, water, fire and earth are elements I need.

It is now my mission to get a plant, a candle,  light and air in my space where I can center and find my joy. Also,, I’m going to hug a tree today.

Do you have the 4 elements in your life? Peace.

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