Houston, Bryan, Houston, Dallas, Houston

I’m on the road again and this is my schedule. I wish I could say that the trips are for money, they aren’t. I wish I could say the trips are for fun,, they aren’t.

I make these trips to see clients and visit old friends in Dallas. I truly try and get a hell of a lot done with my running around, but lately,,, it’s nothing more than survival.

I am going from here to there to back here again and I’m not getting my rest. I am frazzled and not certain about what will happen in the next few weeks.

Maybe, just maybe, answers will appear, maybe not. I feel like I’m on a war party excursion in the old west. I feel drained and damn tired after hours of driving and little or no sleep.

I wonder if stress is causing this, or if there’s nothing I can do about it now.

Anyway, last night I worked on a case with my friends for one of my oldest and dearest friend who is going through the same thing I am. It’s painful to see, but necessary to see the end.

I suppose, I think,, that those that read this rambling post may begin to wonder why I write what I write. Maybe not. I can just say this,, looking at my own case,, is the toughest thing I’ve ever done.

I’m always the giver,, always putting the needs of everyone else before mine own,, yet here, I need to stand up for myself and work on my case. So be it.

I resolve to work on my case. Right now,,, I’m trying to finish this drama before it explodes into something that will drain everyone. Maybe that’s a pipe dream,, maybe not.

In the end,, the drama is about me,, plain and simple. It’s about putting my needs above the needs of everyone else. It’s called taking care of me. I wonder if anyone else out there ever feels uncomfortable about putting their own needs first?

The needs of mine being put first are about my right to exist,, and exploring this area of my life is what I need right now.

So, thank you, soon to be ex whose name must never again be spoken in public,, for the gift of making me put my own needs first. Peace.

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One Response to “Houston, Bryan, Houston, Dallas, Houston”

  1. Devon Says:

    Great things can always come from messy situations.

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