Well, Back To Trial Then More Therapy

It’s kinda like this,, trial, therapy, trial, therapy, trial, therapy. So here I am in the middle of a jury trial and I’m gong back to therapy after it’s over.

I go to Dallas for 3 days of intense therapy and then I get to see more and more of me. I am always looking into the mirror and lately, I’ve lost a bunch of friends.

It seems to me that the more I look at myself and who I am and the more I examine why I do what I do, the more I change. When I change, the changes result in  the loss of people in my life and new ones come into it.

I change, I lose people, and new, better, healthier ones come around. It is the cycle of my life. I am what is known as the hero personality. That’s the only way I can describe it. Maybe rescuer might be a better term, but here’s what happens.

I always want to fix things to help people who are hurt or injured. I have tremendous compassion that exists in my genetic makeup. I see hurt and I want to fix it.

The problem is that over time, people begin to expect me to fix everything and some people take advantage of that. Because of that, I become emotionally bankrupt and can not give and give and give. When I set boundaries, I lose the folks who used to use me.

Examples of this can be found in my life and in my current divorce. I am a lawyer. My soon to be ex whose name must never again be spoken in public has always sued people or been sued by others.

I guess the soon to be ex whose name must never again be spoken in public found me a convenient way to avoid having to work and used my talents to hurt others. I always rescued her from her own perils.

I have never represented an individual who had that many lawsuits. I must say, however, that not every lawsuit the soon to be ex whose name must never again be spoken in public was wrong. It became a living hell to continue to represent her in her lawsuits, and there were so damn many of them it ain’t even funny.

If the soon to be ex whose name must never again be spoken in public wasn’t suing her family members, or insurance companies, it was “others” she claimed had harmed her. On and on and on the lawsuits went until finally,,, no more.

Anyway, by setting boundaries, I found that the “users” in my life go away when they aren’t getting their things they want. I suppose that if I had been a doctor, the soon to be ex whose name must never again be spoken in public would have gotten every illness known to man.

Now some of you may think this is crazy,, why change? I say, it is the absolute destiny of a human being to explore him or her self. In the end, those that get the “great reward” are those that truly examine themselves on a daily basis. Remember it is who we are, not who we think we are.

Have a nice day and remember to always look in that mirror,,, go deep. Peace.

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