To My Friend Gerry Spence

I met Gerry Spence in person in 2001 or 2002 when I attended a regional seminar of the Trial Lawyers College in Hunt, Texas and was never the same since then. I participated in 3 days of psychodrama and wow,, it profoundly affected me forever. Thus began my journey.

In 2002, I attended a regional in California and again met Gerry. I was among the greatest lawyers who have lived and didn’t even know it then. Every year since 2001,, I had applied to get into the Trial Lawyers College and every year since then,, I was rejected. It hurt me deeply.

Finally, in 2008,, I wrote my essay for admission and strongly reminded those in power how I had been applying probably longer than the instructors have been instructors and finally,,, they called me and let me know I was an alternate.

I was kinda excited,,, but disappointed at the same time. I tried to verbalize my feelings as best as I could,,, being told it was great to at least be an alternate,, but really saying this,,,, “do you think the man who is sentenced to death really gives a fuck whether the jury is out 10 seconds or 15 days,,, the result is still the same”.

Finally,, in one of my greatest moments of depression I have ever suffered,, came the call to me,,, while I was eating dinner,,, that someone had decided not to attend and I was asked if I still wanted to go. It took less than the time it takes for light to travel 10 feet for me to say hell yes,,, and off I went.

I did not know what to expect,,, but I was ready. I remember this feeling when I decided to stop using alcohol and drugs,,, I didn’t know exactly what the fuck to expect,,, but I was ready for the change.

I changed and changed and changed. those around me had difficulty understanding my change,,, because it was a profound spiritual and mental change,,, but none the less,,, I changed. I got back from TLC in the summer of 2008 and was met with tremendous resistance to who I’d become. As you know from reading this rambling blog,, I was met with a divorce filing and so be it.

My life had changed and just like leaving behind alcohol and drugs,,, some “old friends” have left,,, but other new and great friends have come into my very existence and allow me to be present and in the moment.

My practice of law has changed drastically and so has the methods I use. I no longer do the things I use to do and after 1 year,,, well,, it’s magnificent. I know that new freedom and awareness and know what to do,, when to do it and how to do it before it even has to be done.

I have set new boundaries and continue to work on myself. As my friend and mentor Gerry says,,, work on the horse,,, not the saddle.

I hope in your life you are able to meet the greatest lawyer who ever lived and hope you understand the profound impact he has on the lives he touches. Gerry,, my friend,,, my mentor,,, happy birthday and may there be many, many, many more.


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