Time To Leave

It’s time. Time to leave. Time to go back to my tribe and study and learn and live. Time to go to a really, really, really safe environment and heal. Time to forget about skin cancer,, time to forget about bills and obligations,,, about divorces,,, just time to just be. I am feeling scared, intimidated and alone,, yet in a couple of days,,,, I’ll be home in Wyoming.

I see life changing all around me and sometimes I feel I don’t get the benefit of change. I sometimes feel I get left out,,, I sometimes feel that going into the arena is the only thing I know,, yet don’t know. I feel that after so many jury trials I would be someone of some importance,, yet,,, I’m not feeling that way. I learn so much about myself,, yet I know so little.

It always amazes me that those who are “accepted” and who everyone thinks are great,,,, have the biggest fear of all facing them in front of 12 strangers,,, they inevitably have to look at themselves when we step into the arena. I see true fear when those “lawyers” are faced with doing battle stripped of their masks and naked.  I see those who have never looked into the mirror and seen themselves and it scares the hell out of them.

I must leave and look into that mirror again. I must learn new and refreshing things as I continue to get naked for battle. I must leave.

It is often said that the great warriors of old went to their sacred places before battle in order to prepare. I now know that they went to look deeply into their own mirror,,, prepared to die,,, yet knowing who they were. It’s amazing that “warriors” today go to the gym, or nightclubs,, or the golf course,, all to prepare themselves for battle,,, yet they never spend time alone,,, learning to shout their voices in silence.

It is time to leave.

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