Butterball The Cat’s New Stance On The Ranch’s Waterboarding Procedure

I’ve seen the signs of terrorists all around here at the ranch and even with Baby waterboarding the hogs trying to get information on swine flu,, every man, woman and animal must help defeat the terrorists. One problem though,,, Butterball is kinda falling by the wayside and beginning to question the current leadership about the Ranch’s policies on detainees.

It seems the other day that Butterball and the other cats were meeting and questioning the decisions that Baby, Geronimo and Pocahontas are making regarding the direction the war against swine flu is taking. It appears that Butterball didn’t think that waterboarding every hog that we capture was getting any useful information about the swine flu epidemic and he even had the nerve to suggest we close the hog holding pens (nicknamed Gitmo).

The leadership wanted to strike back and even our talk radio at the ranch was in an uproar about the treason Butterball is engaging in. Oh sure, Butterball was one of the first to sign up for the war on terrorism when the hogs leveled his “cathouse”.  Butterball claims he never signed up for torture of the hogs,, just a long term conventional war against terror.

I’ve seen Butterball trying to get on our talk radio to discuss his viewpoints, but the main host just keeps saying Butterball’s views are ridiculous. No one will ever debate Butterball live,, they just yell at him and call him un-American. I’m beginning to feel sorry for Butterball. I mean, I’m beginning to see his point.

Butterball asks,, “how do we know the hog strapped to the gurney knows when, where and by what means the bomb will fall.  How does the torturer know this?  Has he tortured others to find out? I would not trust the life of a harmless bunny rabbit to someone who is willing to torture another.”  Excellent point.

But Baby argues,, that by waterboarding every hog,, we will find out when the next swine flu outbreak will occur and save lives. I’m sorry Baby,, I got to agree with Butterball on this one.. As I write this sentence,, Baby growls at me.

So there you have it folks,, a dichotomy not unlike any issue in your jury trial. Remember the objective is to accept and form groups,, never criticize. Have a nice day,, I’m off to hunt and fish.


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