Padre Comes A Calling

There ain’t too many preachers out there who can hold a candle to Padre Jack, our local preacher. I’ve heard just about enough preachers in my life to really enjoy one who can move the masses. I am partial to one who can get the congregation shaking and singing and moving and swaying, but there ain’t none of them like Padre Jack.

I was tending to cattle the other day, when I looked up and saw Padre coming. I thought something musta been wrong, because Padre Jack don’t come out this way, unless something big is happening. I guess that day had occurred and no one mentioned it to me.

It began like any other day would begin, a nice easy Texas sunrise, followed by the early morning songbirds chirping, when I saw Padre coming over the hill in his “Wagon of God”, as he calls it. It’s really a Dodge 4 x4 Ram truck, but I like his name for it,, it just sounds a lot better. Anyway, the truck has just about every biblical scene you could ever imagine painted on it and it is certain to turn heads wherever it goes. Today, it headed squarely for my pasture.

Now  I guess ole Padre Jack was coming to ask about my lack of attendance at his church, but what I really didn’t know, was Padre Jack was coming to consult me on a legal matter. I was feeling a right bit uneasy when Padre Jack pulled up in the yard,, even Baby didn’t bark,,, it musta been Divine intervention that prevented Baby from barking, but out hops Padre Jack toting his ever present good book. I begin to get a bit of an uneasy feeling in my stomach as I thought of many, many excuses for not attending his sermons.

Padre Jack asked me the easy questions first, how I’m doing, what’s going on,, you know, softball questions. Each time I answered him, I began to have flashbacks to second grade when I did something so horrible that I felt like it was the end of the world. It wasn’t, but the feeling sure made me uncomfortable as hell. Somehow, I survived the first round of questioning and began to feel a little bit at ease, when Padre Jack asked me his legal question.

I was a bit surprised to learn that one of Padre Jack’s flock, as he calls them,  had gotten into a car accident and was asking me for help. It might have been a ruse to get me to attend his sermons, but I knew he wasn’t kidding when he began to quote scripture. That’s how I tell if Padre Jack is serious or not,,, when he begins to quote scripture. Anyway, he quoted 5 or 6 verses of a biblical lesson I had heard many, many times as a child and knew it was time to help. I felt at ease, the way Padre Jack asked me for help,, he didn’t oversell it and he didn’t guilt me into helping one of his flock.

I offered my services to the member of his flock and was reminded about his preaching on Sundays at 9:00 A.M., down at the church and decided I might just go and hear him preach.

So what the hell does this have to do with a jury trial? Sometimes, the most powerful word in the English language is simply,, help. If asked properly and not oversold,,, people will generally help you if they can. You might try and remember that for trial. Have a nice day, I’m off to hear Padre Jack.


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