Meet My Friend Billy Bob Justice

My buddy,  Billy Bob Justice and I just got back from the local gun store with some items we just purchased. Billy Bob was born in East Texas and began hunting before he could talk. On his first birthday, his dad gave him an automatic rifle and Billy Bob’s love of  guns ain’t stopped yet.

I believe that ole Billy Bob got married and honeymooned at a gun show or two across the west. I always seem to get the impression that Billy Bob times his vacations so that he gets to go to gun shows and the NRA convention. Now you got to understand that owning guns and hunting is something that Billy Bob holds dear, even after he became a “lawyer”.

I never knew it was possible, but one time during law school, Billy Bob and I went hunting in Houston in some big park near the middle of town. Anyway, Ole Billy Bob is particularly concerned about the new administration taking away his gun rights and stuff like that, so he pretty much rallies around the flag and if you want to know anything about gun laws,,, well, just ask Billy Bob. Sometimes, I find, he’ll tell you, even if you don’t ask him anyway.

Back to the story,,, anyway, Billy Bob and I were coming back from the gun store with some new items he wanted me to have and try out. One of the items was a personal defense mechanism for a dog. Now, Billy Bob’s wife doesn’t let him have dogs,, she says it because they have kids, but I think she’s a cat person,,, and he knows I’ve got 3 dogs here at the ranch. So it became apparent that one of the dogs was gonna wear that personal defense thingamajig he bought.

Now if you’ve read this blog long enough, you know my 3 dogs are Geronimo, Pocahontas and Baby. Geronimo and Pocahontas are English Mastiffs and really aren’t my dogs, they just visit me from time to time,, but Baby is my dog. So Billy Bob says he’d like to test this thingamajig on Baby. I reluctantly agree.

Now Baby generally doesn’t cotton to strangers, but Billy Bob ain’t no stranger,,, but this time Baby musta known that Billy Bob was up to something cause Baby saw this thing Billy Bob pulled out of his truck and Baby ran and hid. We spent the better part of an hour trying to get Baby to come out from under the tractor and when he did, he demanded payment for the humiliation he was about to undergo, in the form of a hamburger or two. Having paid the test subject, Billy Bob went to placing this vest looking thingamajig on Baby.

Years later the product testers at Acme Personal Dog Protection Equipment, Inc., will never ever design anything again like this. Oh, sure it looked damn impressive.  I mean, here was a chemical suit for a dog, complete with face mask, strobe light, 2 way radio, ammo pack, ration pack, rope, knife, whistle, blanket, matches, first aid kit, water bottle, compass, rescue mirror, scissors, water purification kit, radiation pills, chemical test strips, and some sort of big needle with a chemical in it that I understand was to be injected in case of a chemical attack.

Ole Billy Bob got the suit on and of course, Baby took off running,, that’s what he does. Only one thing though, Baby gets a running and his bowels start to work,,, well, seems to me this folks that designed this suit forgot to account for nature. It took the better part of an hour to get the suit off Baby, and Billy Bob stood there disappointed because he had to return this used product,, wondering if he could get his money back or be able to trade it in on some ammo.

Funny thing,, as Billy Bob left for home, I thought I saw Baby laughing.  Anyway, just remember “lawyers” you can plan for the biggest emergencies in a case, but don’t ever forget to account for the obvious. Have a nice day.

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2 Responses to “Meet My Friend Billy Bob Justice”

  1. Topics about Oprah » Archive » Meet My Friend Billy Bob Justice Says:

    […] The Life and Times of a Texas Country Trial Lawyer placed an observative post today on Meet My Friend Billy Bob JusticeHere’s a quick excerptMy buddy,  Billy Bob Justice and I just got back from the local gun store with some items we just purchased. Billy Bob was born in East Texas and began hunting before he could talk. On his first birthday, his dad gave him an automatic rifle and Billy Bob’s love of  guns ain’t stopped yet. I believe that ole Billy Bob got married and honeymooned at a gun show or two across the west. I always seem to get the impression that Billy Bob times his vacations so that he gets to go to gun shows and the […]

  2. Topics about Meetups » Archive » Texas Gun Show Says:

    […] Meet My Friend Billy Bob Justice « The Life and Times of a Texas … […]

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