A Fair Settlement?

You all know I’m going through a divorce and it’s quite an experience. I am amazed at the logic used by others in their quest to get what they want. It’s not in the least bit surprising to me, because my soon to be ex seems to equate happiness with what she can get. I mean it’s like this:

Soon to be ex: Here’s how we’re going to divide this stuff. I get all the assets and you get all the liabilities. You have to pay for everything and you get nothing, that’s fair.

Me: Now, is that really fair? I mean, is that what 20 years is worth?

Soon to be ex: Yes, it’s more than fair.

Me: Why?

Soon to be ex: Because it’s all mine. Oh, by the way, I need money to pay for my_______.

I just don’t get it. You know a man spends a great portion of his life building something great and then is told his input is of no value and none of it belongs to him, it just ain’t right. The story must be told about the struggles in gathering the assets, the time and effort put into realizing the deals made and the rewards of that effort. I always say in life you need three people to help you, a good accountant, a good doctor and a good lawyer. Without any of those three, you fail.

So soon to be ex, how did you take x dollars and convert it into 10x value in land and cattle and equipment, all paid for without help? And if you did it all alone, then you don’t need any money to pay for things, hell, I should be getting support, if it’s all yours. I guess I should ask for alimony. You know building a law practice in these times is very difficult to say the least. I survive on court appointments and really need a new place to live, my insurance paid for, a vehicle allowance, money to eat with, I’ll need help. I guess that’s what trials are for.

I understand my soon to be ex, I mean, her idea about wanting it all with no liabilities, but it ain’t right. So readers, what do you think? What is a fair split? I’m not greedy, but I’m not going to give it all to her either and take all the liabilities.

I reverse roles with my soon to be ex and see her point of view quite easily, in fact, I understand it more than her lawyer, but what I don’t understand is wanting to crush someone. That’s not what I understand her higher power would do; it isn’t very Christian like. Oh well, I guess beliefs and teachings go out the window when it doesn’t help you get what you want.

Some people just never recover from a divorce and are bitter until they die, which believe it or not, we all are going to do. Some people blame it on their lawyers, some on the Judges, some on the jury, some on their ex, but seldom do I see an individual accept blame for their actions. But when I do, those are the ones who are mentally the healthiest in life.

Anyway, I write about these real life experiences because they help me understand the lives and times of real people having lived it myself. A client may be permanently damaged by divorce and understanding the process helps make me a better lawyer. You all have a nice day, I’m off to court.


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