Dog’s In Heat = No Sleep

Ole Pocahontas is in heat and ain’t nobody getting any sleep around here. That damn Geronimo drives everyone crazy and Baby, although he is fixed and old, still likes younger dogs, but at least he’ll let me sleep.

We’ve always have dogs here at the ranch and this time Chuckwagon Sally decides not to fix the 2 English Mastiffs, so I imagine that we’ll have lots and lots of little dogie land mines in the future. (Note to visitors, wear boots over your shoes). Anyway, I understand it’s proper procedure to at least wait until the female dog is 2 years old before breeding her. I don’t suppose Geronimo wants to wait even if I patiently tell him only six months more. Hell, I know humans who wait longer than that, surely Geronimo won’t mind.

I try and distract Geronimo with bones, toys, food, television, walks and anything else I can think of, but to no avail. I suppose the animal instinct to breed and thus survive, is stronger than anything else, including sleep or patience.  I don’t know how those monks do it, maybe I’ll convince Geronimo to join the monastery or the French Foreign Legion. I dare not suggest anything like boarding Geronimo or Pocahontas, or else Chuckwagon Sally may “board” me.

I guess I’ll just suffer through it. I suppose I could give my “fatherly” advice to Geronimo. You know put on a robe and house slippers, (kinda like Hugh Heafner), get one of my old pipes out of the closet and begin smoking it again, sit Geronimo down and explain the fundamental differences between males and females.  I’d do that, except Geronimo is here in my study with the door closed, looking at me kinda funny. It might have something to do with the fact I just petted Pocahontas, but all I know is he’s got that romantic look in his eyes and I personally want no part of that.

Anyway, I will relate this bizarre post to a jury trial as follows:

There is an incredible force at work when faced with survival. You can go days without food and the desire to survive grows more and more intense. If a jury understands this emotion and you’ve done your job of relating it to them, self defense claims become very real and  your client will receive justice. I hope your lawyer knows about the survival instinct. Have a nice day, I’m off to the barn to try and get some sleep.


One Response to “Dog’s In Heat = No Sleep”

  1. Lesley Dewar Says:

    This is a great story and I hope you keep us up to date with the outcome. English mastiffs in Texas seems a bit out of left field, anyhow.

    I found you through Alphainventions and if you want to know a bit more about how to use them to drive traffic to your site, have a look at this – excellent feedback from the creator of AlphaInventions, too.

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