It’s Time to Hog Hunt

Now one of the things we do as often as possible here at the ranch is go hunting. We don’t really care if we get anything and for all those who love animals, we have an off limits policy on deer, but not feral hogs. You see feral hogs are absolutely dangerous and very destructive. They carry diseases and can infect the whole cattle herd, which would really make Chuckwagon Sally madder than hell. So we do our best to control the feral hog population. But we don’t do a very good job as they multiple faster than we can eradicate them.

Many years ago, we used to only see an occasional feral hog and then only very rarely. Now days, you see herds of them up to 100 in the herd all the time. Hogs have no natural enemies and they reproduce rather quickly. A female “sow” can have up to 2 litters of piglets each year and can have 8 or more piglets per litter. Now you do the math,, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that over time, these animals will quickly cause a problem and they do. Because the hog population is so great, the Texas Department of Wildlife has set no bag limit on them, (how many you can take at any time) and you can hunt them day or night, 365 days a year, by any means available, except poison.

So today we have been assigned the task of controlling the hog population. Now there are several ways to hunt the hogs. You can hunt them on foot, in a stand or blind, in a helicopter, with dogs, or trap them. All you have to do is be a good shot and presto, instant food. The Europeans really like wild boar, “male hogs”, but I think it tastes terrible. So if the boar hog is over 150 pounds, we usually let the coyotes eat it. That keeps the coyotes from eating small calves and if it is a sow or a small boar, we skin it, clean it and make sausage out of it. We quarter the hog and cook the ribs and hams. It really tastes good if cooked right and Chuckwagon Sally can cook it right.

So off hunting we go. Over the years, I have set up several stands and feeders  and it is always an adventure hunting. We take safety here real serious. We do not drink when when hunt, nor do we allow anyone else to drink while hunting. We don’t care what you do after the hunt, but before and during the hunt absolutely no drinking, period. We are very careful in teaching new people how to shoot and usually shoot 50 or so rounds at our gun range before hunting just to make sure they know how to shoot and know gun safety. Before any of you get excited, our gun range is a feed bag placed on a wooden post on the side of one of our stock tanks. We try and get the new people to hit the feed bag with the circle drawn on it and after coaching by me, they become pretty good shots. You know most of these city folk claim they are good shots, but the truth be known, they really don’t know how to shoot or much about safety and we teach them both. I always say, “never point a gun at someone unless you intend to use it”. You’d be surprised how many folks don’t know that basic rule. “Always assume the gun is loaded”. Again a rule most people don’t know. “Never trust the safety on a gun”. A simple rule most don’t follow.

Anyway, back to the main story. It’s time to hunt and today, I’ll sit in a stand with a friend of mine son to try and teach him how to hunt, or he may teach me. It’s important that we teach our children basic survival instincts and I’m afraid that there isn’t enough of that being taught in the country today. Every child should know how to cook, change a tire, check the oil and survive in the woods for a day or so. It’s just something that everyone needs to know.  You never know when it will come in handy. Also, everyone should know basic gun safety, just in case. Do you know how many homeowners are killed by intruders because they don’t know how to get the safety off the gun? I don’t either, but I’ll bet it’s a big number.

So enough “soapboxing” already, now about the hunt. Off we go and junior gets a hog, his first. You should see the look on his face when he hit it. A clean kill, good shot. You should also see the look on his face when I tell him he has to clean it. Not a pleasant look. He decides it is a boar and the coyotes sound hungry, so he leaves it. Next time I tell him, you’ve got to clean it.

Now what does this have to do with trial? I’ll tell you. The crap they teach in law schools today doesn’t prepare you for the courtroom, it prepares you for a life of paperwork only. You can read and discuss all you want to about trial work, but until you get into the arena with a real trial lawyer, you’ll never be able to tell your client’s story effectively and win. Something about instincts that we learn in the wild are suppressed in law school and as a result the client never wins. Hope your lawyer doesn’t suppress who he or she really is. Have a nice day, I’m off to jail to visit clients.

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