It’s amazing to me that people threaten things when they don’t get their own way. I mean, why? Is it a survival technique they learn along the way? Is it control? What’s the deal? It seems to me that there are always three persona’s involved in any trauma,, the victim, the rescuer (fixer) and the perpetrator,
The victim is the person who is the subject of the abuse or action. The perpetrator is the person who is the one causing the abuse and the rescuer (fixer) is the one who attempts to clean up the act.
I don’t know why, but at any one time, I’ve played all three actors. I’ve been the victim, the perpetrator and certainly the rescuer (fixer), but what I don’t get is why this insane cycle has to continue. I mean, dealing with people who have been abused or abuse people or animals it occurs to me that the best thing that can happen is to fix the problem, not continue it. Yet society thinks they can fix this problem by imposing criminal penalties and then entrusting the future of this person to some underpaid, under qualified individual who the intelligent abuser will manipulate to get his or her own way.
I can just see the therapy sessions now,,,
“Do you know about the cycle of abuse?
Sure, I do.
Are you going to do it again?
Oh no, I’ve seen the light and will never do it again.
Great, now you’re cured.”
About a week later the same individual is back abusing something or someone or just doesn’t get caught. I’m surprised that society doesn’t understand that the criminal penalties just won’t work. Only therapy does. So what do you do if you are placed in the situation of abuse? You get the hell out. How can you represent someone accused of abuse? You have to understand the cycle of abuse and then maybe you can understand the solution. If the shoes are too great to walk in, then perhaps you as the attorney should seek the therapy. After all, therapy is nothing more than learning new solutions (behaviors) in dealing with problems. Remember, the jury may play any one of those three roles at any time. Have a nice day, I’m off to therapy.